Opening the Portal of Receiving: Why So Many Women Overgive, Shut Down, and Feel Unsafe to Receive
There is a theme rising in my life, in my work, and inside our community — and it’s one that touches every woman I’ve ever worked with:
Receiving.
Receiving love.
Receiving money.
Receiving appreciation.
Receiving pleasure.
Receiving support.
Receiving life.
We all say we want it.
We affirm it.
We pray for it.
We write our manifestations.
We journal about abundance and soul love.
But when it arrives…
our bodies tense.
our hearts close.
our breath shortens.
and something inside us whispers:
“It’s not safe.”
This blog post is a deep dive into why receiving can feel so vulnerable, how generational patterns shape our receiving capacity, why overgiving becomes a survival strategy, and what it actually looks like to re-open the receiving channel.
🌿 Why Receiving Feels Unsafe — Even When You Want It
Many women believe they have a “receiving problem” when the truth is:
Receiving is a safety problem.
Receiving requires vulnerability.
You’re not in control.
You can’t predict what you’ll get.
You can’t guarantee someone will stay, keep giving, or keep loving.
Your nervous system recognizes that as a risk.
So what do we do instead?
We give.
We overgive.
We people-please.
We pour ourselves into everyone and everything around us.
Because giving lets us stay in control:
We choose when we give and when we stop.
We choose how much we give.
We choose who receives.
Receiving?
That’s a surrender.
That’s an opening.
That’s exposure.
So of course it feels scary.
🌿 Overgiving: The Survival Strategy You Never Chose
Overgiving isn’t generosity.
It’s self-protection.
We give to:
feel worthy
feel loved
feel chosen
feel “good enough”
avoid being abandoned
earn safety
We give to get.
Approval.
Affection.
Belonging.
Security.
Love.
And yet the more we give from fear, the more depleted, resentful, and unseen we become.
This is the core wound of so many “good girls”:
We learned to give to be loved, not to give from love.
🌿 The Two Channels in Your System: Giving & Receiving
Inside each of us are two channels:
1. The Giving Channel
Often wide open, overactive, and deeply conditioned.
2. The Receiving Channel
Often dormant, collapsed, or shut down.
Because they’re disconnected, giving no longer nourishes you — it drains you.
But when both channels are open, something magical happens:
Giving becomes an infinity loop.
As I give, I receive.
As I receive, I give.
One feeds the other.
This is how women thrive.
Not by trying harder, but by opening to the fullness of who they are.
🌿 The Generational Patterns That Shape Your Receiving
Your relationship with receiving didn’t start with you.
You inherited it.
Your mother line holds its own stories:
sexual shutdown
violation or fear
money showing up with strings attached
scarcity or lack
survival through over-functioning
being needed to feel worthy
Your father line holds its own stories:
“You must work hard for every dollar.”
family fracture over inheritance or support
emotional distance
pride around independence
no space for vulnerability
If receiving felt dangerous, unpredictable, or conditional in your early years — your nervous system learned to shut it down.
This is why:
money disappears as fast as it comes in
intimacy feels overwhelming
praise or appreciation can’t land
help feels uncomfortable
pleasure feels unsafe
settling feels “safer” than wanting more
self-love feels foreign
None of this is personal failure.
It’s inherited patterning.
And once you see it, you can shift it.
🌿 My Story: Money, Sexuality, Heartbreak & the Moment Everything Changed
I share the full story in the podcast episode, but here’s the essence:
On my mother’s line, money was connected to fear and violation.
Receiving was always met with suspicion:
“What do you want from me?”
On my father’s line, money was connected to hard work, sacrifice, and emotional distance.
I grew up surrounded by abundance that felt like scarcity — because the frequency behind it was lack.
Sexuality felt scary.
Pleasure felt unsafe.
Self-touch felt wrong.
And my worth was tied to my ability to perform, care, and give.
I settled in love again and again, choosing partners who wanted me rather than partners I truly wanted — until the year where heartbreak after heartbreak finally broke me open.
That’s when I wrote the list.
The non-negotiables.
The truth of what I was actually calling in.
And from that moment… everything shifted.
My partner came in.
My path opened.
My work deepened.
And over time — through breathwork, mentorship, embodiment and very real relationship challenges — I became a woman who felt safe to receive.
Safe to receive love.
Safe to receive pleasure.
Safe to receive money.
Safe to receive myself.
Safe to receive life.
This is available to every woman.
🌿 Healing the Receiving Wound Is a Whole-Body Transformation
It’s not about:
forcing yourself to “accept help”
affirmations
vision boards
trying harder to feel grateful
It’s about:
regulating your nervous system
healing the inner child who didn’t know safety
integrating the shadow parts that fear disappointment
working with a mentor who holds the frequency you’re expanding into
doing the embodiment work
letting yourself feel the grief, anger, fear, and tenderness underneath
This is the inner work I take my clients through in:
Grounded In You
The Sacred Art of Loving Yourself
Heart Speaks
Authentic Boundaries
Deep Pleasure
Deeply Connected Couples
The Mother
The Embodied Woman Experience
She Receives
Because each portal unlocks a different dimension of receiving.
🌿 The Reframe That Changed Everything: “Because of that…”
Inside the episode, I share a powerful reframe:
Instead of:
“This shouldn’t have happened.”
Shift to:
“Because of that… everything shifted.”
Because of that heartbreak…
Because of that moment I settled…
Because of that rock bottom…
Because of that “no more”…
Because of that list…
I found the life I’m living today — a life I’m completely in love with.
This is the perspective that transforms your story into your power.
🌿 If You’re Ready to Open Your Receiving…
If this resonated, your soul is already whispering:
There is more for you. You’re meant to receive more. You’re meant to feel more. You’re meant to live more.
You can explore:
✨ The Embodied Woman Experience
✨ She Receives (6-week receiving + embodiment immersion)
✨ Any of my signature programs
✨ 1:1 private coaching
✨ Or book a free connection call to feel into your path
You don’t have to unravel this alone.
You get to be held in the becoming.
You get to expand your capacity to receive — gently, safely, deeply.
🎧 And if you haven’t already, listen to the full episode here:
“Opening the Portal of Receiving” — Good Girl Unleashed Podcast
Sending you so much love on your journey home to yourself.
— Monique 🤍